Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake: Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake, a fire: Jehovah was not in the fire. And after the fire, a soft gentle voice. (1Kings 19:11-12)

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Nine Ways to Love Your Husband ~ Titus 2 Tips {on Thursdays}

Loving your husband is not the popular message of today. But it is a message worth living.

Loving your husband is not an easy commitment. But it is a commitment worth making.

Loving your husband is not always what you want to do. But it is always worth doing.

Loving your husband is not your default. But it is possible to demonstrate God's love to your husband by His power.

How to Love Your Husband

After 14 years and 8 months of marriage I have learned a few things about loving my husband. I leave you with nine ways to tend the garden of your marriage. Grow in love and grace and be blessed with a marriage that stands the test of time.

Walk Alongside your Husband
When you are young and in love, you think you can live on love. As you mature and difficulties arise it is easy to walk apart. You think you need a workable plan to deal with the stresses in life. And you do, but don't forget to live on love. Live your lives together. Plan together. Laugh together. Cry together. Walk alongside your husband and hold hands in life. Don't stop getting to know your husband.

Work for Peace
Life easily overwhelms. Bills need to be paid. Responsibilities need to be met. Things break down. Children grow up. Seasons change. You are not your husband's enemy. Do everything you can do to work for and maintain peace. Economy and countries weaken in times of war. Peace brings stability and strength. Peace empowers you to help others who are weak.

Watch your Tongue
The easiest way to wound our husbands is to tear into them with our tongues. Put a guard over the lips of your mouth. By holding your tongue when you only have biting words you are winning the war for peace.

Weather the Storms
Life battles come. Storms on the horizon will blow in. Be prepared. Stock up. Build a safe place. Know where you are secure. Determine where you need to reinforce. Get involved in a loving community that you trust. You have the potential to grow stronger in the storms if you have the supports to help you through them. Believe that God is your refuge in storms and He is your Strength when you are weak. Continue in prayer with an attitude of gratitude in the hard times. In hope believe  when all is hopeless.

Win Him over with Affection
Shower him with affection. Even when you have to convince yourself to rub his back, greet him with a kiss, smile across the table and the children's messy table manners, or hold him when you are weary of little hands clambering over every inch of your body. Keep his heart tender by caressing him with your warm and devoted expression of love.

Weave Grace into your Days
Your husband is not perfect. Neither are you. There are days that you don't even like your husband. There are things that he does that drive you crazy. There are dreams that have no place in your marriage. Strong marriages are built on a foundation of love and framed with grace. Healthy marriages don't just happen, they need to grow with grace upon grace in the good times and bad times, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, 'till death separates.

Wonder at the Union
The oneness between a husband and wife is a union that should leave you in awe. It speaks of the union between Christ and His bride. That He would give us such a beautiful picture to live out is a humble joy. Be enraptured with your husband. Wonder at the special oneness. Marvel that you can be intimate and make love beautiful in this broken world.

Write Words of Encouragement
When you have guarded your tongue from words that tear down, be generous with words that will build your husband up in courage. Look for the little things he does if you struggle to find anything good. Honour and respect him with your words when you are alone, when your children are watching, and when you are in public. Write words of encouragement on his heart.

Worship Together
One of the most precious ways to grow together is to live your lives for God's glory together. Serve the Lord together. Go to church together. Pray together. Sing together. Stir one another on to good deeds. Trust together. Weep together. Do what you have been created to do—to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength—together and praise God that He will grow you in grace in His mercy will hold you both in the palm of His hand.

A Soft Gentle voice
I am honoured to host these guest posts in this series on women mentoring women. (Occasionally I will write a tip for you; you will notice today's post is not a guest post, but from yours truly!) 
Some weeks you may find tips from the kitchen or healthy recipes, tools other women have used to grow spiritually, hints to help us build up and love our husbands, and lessons they have learned as they have walked along with their children to teach them to love God wholeheartedly, habits they have developed in keeping their home, ways they have worked on to keep their behaviour respectful, or rhythms that allow peace and rest in the home and hearts that dwell there within.
You will find all the posts in the series here
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour,
not slanderers or slaves to much wine.
They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be reviled."

{Titus 2:3-5}


  1. Beautiful. Made me a little teary eyed as I miss that fabulous husband of mine. Thank you for the wonderful list of way to love him. Much love.

    1. Oh Beth, I don't know how you do it. The Lord is sustaining you, brave sister. Press on in love!

  2. Rebekah, this is such a beautiful list, but more than a list of how tos, it is a heartfelt walk in life as a married couple. I married for the second time after 13 years of being divorced. I married at 45 and K had never been married, just waiting for me! : ) We have been so beautifully blessed by God's hand upon our marriage, yet all of these things you detail above are just what needs to happen in all marriages. We do many, if not most, but I found several that I have added to be desiring to do for my love.
    So glad you were a neighbor today at Lyli's.
    Caring through Christ, linda

  3. Great story. I love all the steps to love your husband. Gave me a lot to think about. I also enjoyed the part about your kids creating cards. I can almost see them with all their bright colors. What a great childhood memory. Good looking family, also.

  4. Hi Rebekah, this is a great list. I loved the point to 'wonder at the union'. I don't take enough time to just marvel at God's handiwork and design in creating the marriage relationship. You captured some great photos too :)


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