My One Word for 2014 {& Five Minute Friday: Fight}

I've been wrestling all week with my one word for the next 365 days.

The word that came to mind and challenged me wasn't quite what I was hoping for.

I wanted a strong word, an elegant word, and a word that would roll right off my the tip of my tongue. 

One that I wouldn't stumble over or trip me in trying to live it out, but a word that would speak of grace and poise, of courage and strength as 2014 got off the ground.

I was looking for a word that would define my days and make my moments count.

A strong verb or a charming noun was more what I was hoping for.

Like trust, dwell, confidence, believe, or abide.

But, the word that kept assaulting me was a humble preposition.

That's it. My one word for the year.

Nothing fancy like last year. No elaborate word study.

Last year I needed something to move me forward and the only way I could move on last year was in continual prayer.

I didn't know last year when I chose my word (or perhaps when my word chose me) that I would be for the first time driven to lie flat down on my face to the ground begging prayers after a phone call on a warm summer night that would rock my world.

I didn't know that I would only be able to move forward in constant prayer. Not long intervals of prayer, but rather in a state of constant prayer, continual communion with my Lord.

I didn't realize that a word that I could barely pronounce: proskarteréō would make me confess that I could go no further, and boldly declare that I can't do it, so You have to.

At the beginning of 2013 I wrote, "It is the power of God, His strength that enables me to move forward in faith." And by the end of the year, in storms when I couldn't see I cried out in trepidation and He delivered me to a place of refuge.

Now 2014 has cracked open the first chapter and all week I've been mediating on the verses at the end of Deuteronomy and the beginning of Joshua. When God commanded Joshua to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. The pastor at our small Chapel in a little town read it on Sunday and I've been chewing on it all week.

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, 

for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. 

He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it.

It is the Lord who goes before you.

He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

That's how I will go into this year.

The only way I can fight incessant craven fear is to be assured that God is continually with me.

His perfect love casts out fear.

It's His very presence that gives me confidence.

Surely, I think, there must be a better word to represent this idea for the year. I keep searching for a more suitable word to point me in this direction.

But, this is it: the fact that it is a preposition confirms that this is the word for me this year.

The preposition goes before, it links the nouns together, it's a word that governs and expresses the relationship to another word.

With bears witness the relationship I am blessed to have with my God.

He goes before me, He gently leads me.

He is with me. It's not just there in the Old Testament to the Israelite people, but the author of the book of Hebrews reiterates the promise.

"I will never, no, never leave thee, no, never forsake thee. In the original there are no less than five negatives put together, to confirm the promise: the true believer shall have the gracious presence of God with him, in life, at death, and for ever." 

"He will never withdraw His presence or His help."

I dwell with Him in His very presence and His very Presence dwells with in me.

The brilliant medical doctor turned minister-preacher, D. M. Lloyd-Jones spoke in one of his distinguished sermons, "One of the essential and most obvious things about a Christian is that he is a man who lives always realizing he is in the presence of God."

I don't know what this year may bring, but when I understand that He is with me I do not need fear. I have confidence in His presence, that He will complete the work He has determined. I can fight the fight, walk the narrow path because He goes before me.

"We have not passed this way heretofore, but the Lord Jesus has. It is all untrodden and unknown ground to us, but He knows it all by personal experience. The steep bits that take our breath away, the stony bits that make our feet ache so, the hot stretches that make us feel so exhausted, the rushing rivers that we have to pass through—Jesus has gone through it all before us." {'Streams in the Desert' January 3}

"Even when I must walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me"

I look forward to realizing the position I have with my Lord.

There is nothing else worth living for but our relationship to God and our utter dependence upon Him.

With: nothing fancy, but eternally fundamental and full of grace.

***

Also linking with Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo's place. This week the prompt is: Fight

Officially, the rules are:

1. Write for 5 minutes  {Full disclosure: I most often spend a little more time than this.}

2. Link up at Lisa-Jo's  and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

The Most Important Thing I Learned While Hunting in November 2013

"November is usually such a disagreeable month . . . as if the year had suddenly found out that she was growing old and could do nothing but weep and fret over it. This year is growing old gracefully . . . just like a stately old lady who know she can be charming even with grey hair and wrinkles. We've had lovely days and delicious twilights." 

~L.M. Montgomery, 'Anne of Avonlea'

She was nearly silenced.

Left without words to offer.

Stormed in with only a whisper.

Barely breathing in grace.

As the sun and moon took their turns in the November sky she could only keep hunting in the storms.

Groping her way to shelter.

Searching for refuge.

Gracefully bending under burdens.



Day after day, weak ones begged for intercession.

Storm after storm, weary ones cried out for sanctuary.

Battle after battle, warriors appealed for peace.

She tuned in for a song to be somewhere in the suffering.

She watched for joy to come in the mourning.

She waited for worship to follow the weeping.

She shook her head at the things that could silence her.

How the exhausting days, an off-handed comment, relentless struggles, winds of life whipping her in the face, darkest nights, and the depravity of her own soul could leave her hushed, scared, unsure of setting one foot in front of the other.

Her default, to wrap herself in fear instead of walking in faith, threatened to deride her.

But she had set out to hunt and although it looked different then she anticipated, in hunting, she opened her hand to God's grace, steadfast love and never-ending mercies, she released her grip on fear and she found refuge in the present suffering by seeing it in light of God's eternal promises.

Yes, tears fall in the tiring days.

Yes, strength fails in the storms of life.

Yes, disease and death do sting.

But as prayers are on the lips of the saints, the God who bottles our tears also gathers our prayers in golden bowls.

As our weeping endures for the moment, we know the victory has been won, the Messiah has come in mortal flesh as a babe, conquered all sin and death as the God-man, so our prayers will be worship to the One who sits on the Throne.

As our suffering must be seen in light of God's eternal promises, so our prayers will be made sweet incense when the worthy Lamb, who suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, opens the book and loosens the seals.

This is the thing with bottled tears and bowls of prayers:

God turns our wailing into dancing and our prayer into worship because, "behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered" and we will weep no more.







When the world screams no God she yearns for more God.

So she set out in an earnest search and called this month 'Morevember'.

And she found that this hunting was just what she needed.

To open her eyes to see,

to open her hands to grasp,

to open her heart to hear.





So even when she was dumb she was not without a hope.

When her tears fell, she believed there would be a turning to joy.

When prayers faltered on her lips, she presented only groanings and was confident the Spirit would plead on her behalf.

With bold supplication she surrendered, knew her own weakness and found refuge.



November grew old, and now passes on with a white gleaming crown.

And the one who was silenced, now she silences the nay-sayers with a charm of her own.

She gives thanks for the delicious twilights and the sunrise after the storm.

For the Son in the midst of the storm.

For the Rock who is her Refuge.

She finds her song in the suffering.

Her hope in the hurting.

Her joy in the world.

In Him. More of Him.

In His presence. His goodness. His love.

November wanted to fill her right to the deepest marrow with melancholy.

But in the hunting, her ears were ripened to His music. His mercy. His grace.

In the silence her heart heard His song.

"The Lord your God is in your midst,

a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing."

Emmanuel has come.

In the morning we wait for fullness of joy.

God with us.

***

This is the final post for this series of Hunting for more of God's Grace, Steadfast love and His Mercies that are new every morning in 'Morevember'.

I invite you to never stop hunting along with me for more of His mercy and grace  and steadfast love to see more of Him in #Morevember on Facebook and Twitter.




Enter your email address to subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice and have this series delivered to your inbox.   

Linking with Emily. What have you learned this month? Please share.

"I'll Fly Away" on A Friday Morning {#Morevember}

I wake with the words of this hymn on my mind.

"I'll fly away, oh glory

I'll fly away

When I die, Hallelujah

By and by, I'll fly away.

Some bright morning
When this life is over, I'll fly away
To a land on
God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.

When the shadows
Of this life have grown, I'll fly away
Like a bird from
These prison walls, I'll fly, I'll fly away."

I've been fighting a weight of darkness. Swimming upstream in a torrent of emotions, with joy set before me, considering Him who endured, that I may not grow fainthearted.

You know that saying that goes something like, "Don't be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good." I don't know who said it or what he/she thought she was saying, but somehow the saying stuck. The problem is, it's not true. I grow fainthearted when I am not heavenly minded; when I do not have my mind set on things above.

How on earth do you suppose that you could be too heavenly minded? Why not long for the day that John tells us about when he got a sneak peak behind a door standing open in heaven? Why not linger on the hope that I will meet our Saviour face to face, dwell with Him in perfect unity, to sit at His feet, fall down before Him, singing a new song? 

Sickness has a way of giving you a more heavenly perspective. 

The specialist shared his most educated guess that I'd have about two years for my severely narrowed aortic valve to hold up, but he doesn't really know. It could be less time or more. I'll just need to keep toughing it out and when I faint call him and he'll sit down with the surgeon again and see if anything could be done. It's not hopeful, but nothing can be down to reverse the damage, so we will keep pressing on. Maybe, pray for a miracle.

I leave the clinic on Monday thinking of the woman who reached out in faith, touched only the hem of Jesus's garment and was made well. Is my faith too small? 

Do I want to be made well?

Like Paul said, "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain."

What's so bad about this heavenly longing?

It actually gives me a peace and an inexpressible joy as I endure various trials. It's the good news that gives hope, the accomplished work of Christ that the angels long to fully understand, and we, as believers, get to experience and believe, and rejoice with this unspeakable joy.

Now on Friday, a young woman, far too young for death to claim her according to human standards, was called home. 

She knows this joy fully now. A few weeks ago, she proclaimed these words of hope as she fought the cancer in her body. The words made an impact on me when I listened the first time weeks ago, but this morning as I watched again after a friend posted the news that she was now FREE, her words reverberated hope in deep crevices:

"We are never alone, and don't have to fear the unknown. I try to live day to day, as everyday as truly a blessing from God because you never know when God may want you to come home. I try to just live through each day and to praise Him for every breath I have because you never know when it will be your last."

As her story closes here on this earth, tears slip down my cheeks. When we pause to bow and praise God for this young woman we've never met and for calling her to Himself, and now home to Him, my little one bores her eyes into mine and asks why. 

I have no words, just this deep rumbling in my soul that whispers of the mingling of pain and joy, trials and trust, an unseeing love that only a heavenly mind would dare to cling to.




God at Work - Jacqueline Li from Harvest Bible Chapel York Region on Vimeo. {email subscribers, please click here to watch this powerful testimony of a young woman called Home today.}

***

Hunting for more of God's Grace,Steadfast love and His Mercies that are new every morning in 'Morevember'.

3 gifts grateful:
~You love him even though you have never seen him.
~Though you do not see him now, you trust him
~and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory

I invite you to hunt along with me for more of His mercy and grace in #Morevember on Facebook and Twitter.

Enter your email address to subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice and have this series delivered to your inbox.   

***

Also linking with Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo's place. This week the prompt is: Fly

Officially, the rules are:

1. Write for 5 minutes  {Full disclosure: I spent a little more time on this post}

2. Link up at Lisa-Jo's  and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

The Ten Truths {to Tell Yourself when you are a Mama who wonders how to get through Today}

Some days you get stuck in the muck. Some days you need to remind yourself over and over that you are not alone. Some days you need to re-read a letter you wrote for someone else . . . 

Dear Mama,

I know how you feel.  You're tired, you ache, you want to made well, but this is it. This is the life that has been determined for you. 

God knows how difficult it is at times, but you wonder if anyone else can relate.

Is there another Mama who always wanted to never be the Mama who wasn't well? 

I begged for healing and I begged for babies.

Is there anyone else who has a twelve year old who takes the weight of it all on her own shoulders even though you've never asked her to and really she doesn't have to? But, she's the first-born and is intuitive and senses there are days that are a little rough. 

Anyone else with a seven year old boy who talks one day about inventing a lung so that other kids, who would have to go through what his Mama did when she was a little girl, will still be able to run a marathon one day? 

Any other Mama out there who can hardly keep up to her three year old because you live life now with 30% lung capacity?

I hoped to have stamina that would show up the Energizer bunny.

What about another woman who wondered why the months and then years would pass before two lines on a pregnancy test would appear? And then wondered how you are going to have the strength some days to raise and disciple these little ones entrusted to you? 

A Mama out there who fights to be free from fears of receiving a secondary diagnosis now that you actually are a Mama? And what do you do to keep on 'toughing it out' with severe aortic stenosis now as a mother, as well as the lung damage all because of a dreadful disease from when you were three years old?

I know it could be a lot worse, but your own reality is all you will ever know. 

I desperately prayed for healing, but for so long I failed to see how God has already healed me:

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.

I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

And, Mama, you know what I've been learning as I live this life I never would have chosen for myself? 

I am never alone. Ever.

God will strengthen me and use me for His glory.

The One who has healed my heart is the One who I cry out to. 

He is my refuge. 

He is my shelter.

He is my strength.

When you wonder how you will get through these days, know that you are not doing this on your own.


Your story has its own challenges, but our solution is the same. 

Grace. Amazing, astounding, cascading, pouring down grace.

And like anything, perspective is half the battle. If I wallow in my woes I end up defeated. 

Like Paul, I need to learn to be content in whatever circumstance I'm in. 

So,  I have to keep preaching to myself on a daily basis.

• Learn my own limitations and don't think I have to do everything.  

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." (Phil 2:13)

• Know that Christ's strength is made perfect in my weakness. And His amazing grace is all I ever need. The joy of the Lord is my strength and in Him will I boast.

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." (Cor 2:9)

• Accept the willingness of others to help me when I need it even though I may not want to admit it. We need one another and let it be a blessing for them and to you.

• Cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. 

• Trust in the Lord. He will guide me in all I do.

"But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence." (Jeremiah 17:7)

• Believe that His goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life. He really has chased me down His unfailing love, wooed me with His eternal love, and proved to me that His mercies are new every morning. He is always good and does good.

• Be assured that the antidote to fear is the assurance of God's presence and protection.

• Use my health for the praise of His glory. I am here to manifest His glory.

• Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Especially for  the thing in my life that forces me to lean into Him.

• Pray. Without ceasing. Because you must move forward even though you may not know how.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us" (Eph 3:20)

*Edited from a guest post written for Jessica for her 31Days series.

***

Hunting for more of God's Grace,Steadfast love and His Mercies that are new every morning in 'Morevember'.

I invite you to hunt along with me for more of His mercy and grace in #Morevember on Facebook and Twitter.

Enter your email address to subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice and have this series delivered to your inbox.   

Who Am I? {Victorious} In Christ {Day 31} #31Days

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, 

for those who are called according to his purpose. 

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, 

in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 

And those whom he predestined he also called, 

and those whom he called he also justified, 

and those whom he justified he also glorified." 

(Romans 8:28-30)

 

Home.

There is nothing like coming home.

Before we find our way home we run through an old covered kissing bridge, attempt to shoot a family photo on the timer setting, and finally fill our tummies at the old Cracker Barrel in Amish country.

And he's licking the last of the sweet syrup off his plate (I know, I should be horrified that he's licking his plate! and in public!!), but I'm stopped short at what he says as he puts his plate back down where it belongs. All day, he's been counting down the hours to his birthday (who am I kidding? he's been counting for months). 

He turns 8 on the 31st of October. He's been trying to convince us that he'll be king soon, just like the boy he was named after in the Bible became king when he was 8 years old.

He tells us that he knows that there are great battles and on the day that he celebrates his birthday, he knows that there are some who celebrate evil. But he says he will put on the full armour of God because God always wins his battles. And he doesn't need to be afraid of the evil because the Lord is with him.

I really can't stand that he was born on the 31st of October. I cringe at the thought of it every year. It was the only day during the whole pregnancy that I really hoped would not be the day of his birth. But when I woke up just after midnight on the 31st, two full weeks before his due date, I knew that he would be born on the very day I was hoping I could avoid. 

On the eve of his eighth birthday, we drive 9 hours, 750 km(460 miles) home. Through and around villages, up and down peaks and valleys in the Appalachian Mountains, through the States and further up and further in a few hours north into Canada.

We pack in like sardines among the suitcases, pillows, parcels, perplexus balls and other activities for the journey. We listen to 'Charlie's Choice', skip through 'Secret Garden', watching only the parts that don't scare the three year old, endure battles of she's too close--he's bugging me--and she smiled at me, make a couple quick pit stops and try to make all cozy as the dark settles and the wheels roll on and the minutes fade and we gain ground on our way home.

We cross the border just before midnight and when we roll into the driveway a couple of hours later we say a quiet Happy Birthday to the birthday boy. Then we all fall into our beds that we had crawled out of four days earlier in the wee hours of the morning to take a small holiday to see 'Noah' at the Sight and Sound Theatre, where the 'Bible comes to life'.

My heart broke afresh when we saw the ark door slam shut and heard the wails of those who were outside of the ark. Only Noah and his wife and three sons and their wives were saved on the ark when God sent a flood to destroy all living things on the earth because the wickedness of man was so great that God was grieved in His heart that he ever made man.

My heart burst with gratitude for the grace shown to those inside the ark.

My heart pondered how those inside of Christ have been redeemed at the foot of the cross and we stand sure in the ark of Christ. Where evil does not triumph and the purpose of Satan to steal, kill, and destroy cannot harm us for Christ's purpose was to give life in all its fulness.

And the journey home, may be long and tedious and even dark at times, but in Christ we stand victorious. 

Christ adorns us with His righteousness and we put on the full armour of God and fight battles in this life, endure pain and suffering, enter His presence with thanksgiving, till one day He will take us home to be with him for all eternity and be glorified in Him.

We don't know the hour when we will be called home to glory, but we do know that this is the day that the Lord has made and what He has promised is true. Each and every day, from the rising of the sun to the setting of the same, the name of the Lord will be praised.

The battle belongs to the Lord. Until we become fully like Christ, we will walk this narrow road, letting the light of Christ shine in this darkness, claiming who we are in Christ, all to the praise of His glory.

So my boy-king, will put on the his armour--his belt of truth, helmet of salvation, sword of the Spirit, shield of faith, feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, breastplate of righteousness--and rub shoulders with his neighbours in our community on the night of his birthday and boldly claim that he is a soldier of the King of Kings.

And although I wish we could ignore this day altogether, where some elevate darkness and worship death, we will proclaim and celebrate life, rejoice that God's sovereignty reigns and His providence prevails and the whole earth and all that is in it belongs to Him, and marvel that by His grace we are safe in the ark of Jesus Christ.

As we journey, "we must trust in His love, rely on His grace, we must learn how to rest in His loving embrace"* and long for the day when He will take us to be with Him and we will behold His face and know that we are forever home.

"Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; 

but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, 

because we shall see him as he is."

(1 John 3:2)

*lyrics from song in 'Noah'

***

This is Day 31 and concludes the series: 31 Days: Who am I? {In Christ} Who is the I AM. 

You will find the complete series here. 

I invite you to follow on  Facebook and Twitter.


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"He is My Refuge" {When you Believe it, Boldly Proclaim it}

"To take up a general truth and make it our own by personal faith is the highest wisdom. It is but poor comfort to say `the Lord is a refuge, 'but to say he is my refuge, is the essence of consolation. Those who believe should also speak—"I will say", for such bold avowals honour God and lead others to seek the same confidence . . . it becomes the duty of all true believers to speak out and testify with calm courage to their own well grounded reliance upon their God."

~Charles Spurgeon, "The Treasury of David" 

Consider The Lily: {What to do when you toil and spin and are totally spent}

I bend low, to consider, as it dances and sways, this lily in the field. 

I stoop down, drink it in, I ponder, I devour, 

I awaken to, and marvel at its splendor and beauty revealed

Look how God, in all His glory, has arrayed this exquisite flower. 

***
Why am I anxious and troubled, so desperate? you ask. 

I wonder too: Why do I fret and worry away every single day? 

Well, don't you know I tend to my little garden, this onerous task 

On my own! I must endure, move forward, I don't see another way. 

I cannot do it! The strength I need, I admit, I do not have. I toil and spin 

As the sun comes up and still as the day is done. 

I feed, clothe, scrub, laugh and love, and try to face it all with a grin. 

Ahhhh, in my weakness, I falter, I fail, for I, am only one. 

"Consider the lily" He says . . . 

My Father chides me with His gracious love. He opens the eyes of my heart to see:

His presence, provision, promises, His strength! How with grace He writes my story. 

While I'm tucked secure under His tender wing, He gives in abundance to me.

Joy comes when I surrender my worries to Him, and live to the praise of His glory.