Don't Forget the Things Your Eyes Have Seen

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I was in a foreign land thirty-eight years ago when doctors discovered a sarcoma in me the size of a grapefruit. That is a big tumour for a slip of a girl about to celebrate her third birthday. My dad and grandfather rushed me to the emergency room because I had popped a penny in my mouth and swallowed it and it lodged in my esophagus.

When they scanned for the penny on the x-ray, they found more than they ever imagined. They left me in the hospital that night and carried the bad news back to my mom.

I don’t remember swallowing the penny or spending the night alone in the hospital in England. I don’t remember flying home to Canada or meeting all the doctors that poked and prodded. I don’t remember being admitted to the Hospital for SickKids on that day in September.

I don’t remember the surgery that couldn’t get all the cancer.



I do remember lying very still on a hard, cold table while the doctors blasted me with radiation. I remember months and months of chemotherapy.

No one could say if all the treatment would even kill the cancer; a type of cancer that was so rare to even be found in a child. They drew up a plan for a three year old that was as aggressive as if they were treating an adult with a sarcoma.

My mom, she refused to take me down for my first day of radiation, just weeks after my surgery. I can’t blame her. I’m not sure if I could have subjected any of my three year olds to everything my body has had to endure.

My doctor called her on the phone and told her, if she did not bring me down to Toronto, I would not live. But, she had already been warned of the horrors of all the side effects. How do parents make a heart-wrenching choice like that?

Doomed if you do, but dead if you don’t.

That first appointment was rescheduled. And every weekday for the next five weeks they put me on that cold table in a large room with a big machine killing things I knew nothing about.

I still tremble when I think about that table.

For two years, my fight with cancer continued.

For the next thirty-six years, I have pressed on and I look back lest I forget what my eyes have seen.



No one knew back in 1979 that the radiotherapy they blasted at me as a 3 year old child would send me into advanced heart failure as a 37 year old mom of three young children.

It had already destroyed a lung and so the open-heart surgery I needed was risky business.

How can a body with 30% lung capacity manage on a heart-lung machine for over six hours? No one knew if it could.

Stepping up on to that operating table was a step of faith.

Faith perseveres by seeing “Him who is invisible” we are told in Hebrews 11:27.

My eyes have never seen God. I have never stood before a burning bush or stood at the foot of a mountain and see it burn with fire or heard the voice of God. But, I have seen His wonders; I have seen His glory displayed in my life. I have known the truth He has revealed in His Word.

I will give thanks to God for the great things He has done.



In Deuteronomy, Moses exhorts the children of Israel to not forget what the Lord God has done for them. They are once again on the eastern border of the Promised Land. Moses was forbidden to enter the land and he would die in the land of Moab before God would tell Joshua to cross over the Jordan and take possession of the land He was giving the children of Israel.

They have wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. And now, before Moses dies, he urges the people, with a series of sermons and prophecies, to obey the Lord God who is faithful, unchanging, and full of grace and mercy. God had demonstrated His power and love over and over and yet, it keeps slipping from their mind that He alone is God.

What slips from our mind can never lead to gratitude in our hearts. You forget his wonders, and next you will be forgetting God.



In Deuteronomy 4:9, Moses tells this generation of Israelites: 

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”

Don’t forget! Don’t forget what you have seen God do. Don’t let it slip from your memory. Tell it over and over to your children. Don’t give any room for any idols in your heart. God is good and faithful. God is just and holy. He alone is God. Do you know it?



John Calvin, in his commentary on Deuteronomy, wrote:

“the people must beware of shutting their eyes against the clear revelation of God's power, and therefore urges them to keep it in memory, because man's ingratitude is but too prone to forgetfulness."

We don’t know what we may have to face tomorrow.

We don’t know what the road will look like. It may look like the impossible. It may look like cancer or some other sickness, or a costly sacrifice, or persecution, or reproach.

It may look like the Red Sea, or the wilderness, or the Jordan River. It may part and you will step out in faith on the dry ground able to endure because you are relying on God’s promises.



Thirty-eight years ago the doctors found a sarcoma right beside my heart. Three years ago doctors rebuilt my heart, but they didn’t think I would wake up that night after the surgery.

For three years now my heart ticks loud like a clock in my chest. I can hear it keep time with a steady beat as if to remind me every moment of the day.

Before God had created the world, He knew my every heartbeat. He knows my days. By grace, He has brought me back to Himself and with His steadfast love will lead me all the days of my life.

I have seen God do great things. He alone is God. I will not forget.

I will tell them to my children and if it is God’s will, to their children.

Run Well While the World Rages On

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Fixed with determination, she placed her feet firm at the start line along side seven and eight year old girls. As the siren blew, she sprang forward with the participants, hustling for position. 

By the first bend, her form and the look on her face were fierce. She charged ahead like a warrior. She fell into a steady pace, but then was set back in the transition station as she entered the cycling portion of the duathlon. She bent lower into the wind and embraced the challenge. It was as if she didn’t let the hindrance weigh her down. She pushed on toward the goal and with resolve she would reach the prize. 

After she dismounted from her bike, she began the last, but most difficult leg of the race. She set her eyes on the finish line and with sheer grit she reached forward.

All along the sidelines spectators cheered on the athletes. The goal for every child was to finish the race well. As every runner crossed the finish line, a medallion was slipped over his or her head and shouts of ‘well done’ rang out.

Our community had come together for our annual dualthlon and encouraged active participation and a strong finish.

As the sun warmed up the crisp morning, there were false starts and strong finishes. Weary bodies rose up and soared to the end. Nervous energy and tears of exhaustion were exchanged for courageous endurance and cries of victory.

While the athletes cooled down they were handed nourishment and parents snapped photos, stole hugs and planted kisses on flushed faces.

The whole day was filled with contagious enthusiasm and at the heart of the event was the essence of community. Working together to offer encouragement to those around us to press on to finish strong.





There are many things to hinder us in this race of life. We can be so easily weighed down and entangled.

When we take our eyes off the prize, we lose our footing. That is why we are told in the book of Hebrews to fix our eyes on Jesus. He is the founding leader and the finisher of our faith. He has pioneered and perfected the life of faith. He is the champion who rejoices to run his course to bring us back to God.

This world is aching and groaning. The horrific killings , devastating atrocities, the apparent lack of justice, the wickedness that makes our hearts heave in our chests.

We are called to run this race with perseverance. And the only way to do that is to look to Jesus. The One who with joy set before Him endured the cross. The greatest atrocity that has ever taken place or ever will was when Jesus died bearing the sin of the world. It is also where the greatest victory was won. The head of the enemy was crushed; wickedness will not reign forever.

The Psalmist sang: “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Psalm 19:1) and yet mankind has stubbornly turned from God. And as Paul penned in the opening of his letter to the Romans: they have “exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.” (Romans 1:23)

They have “exchanged the truth about God for a lie.” (Romans 1:25) Paul continued: “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.” (Romans 1:28)

Paul made it clear to the Roman Christians that we:

“ . . . all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.” (Romans 3:23-25)

We do not run this race apart from the grace of God.





Yes, we need to run with endurance. And, we need to fix our gaze on the glory of God and proclaim His name.

The Bride of Christ does not need to wonder if God is good, she gets to be in awe of His abounding goodness.

The Body of Christ needs to speak out that Peace only comes in the Person of Jesus Christ. And it is the peacemakers who “shall be called the children of God”. (Matthew 5:9)

The Church needs to rise up, to suffer for doing good, to spur one another on to fight the good fight of faith, to speak the truth in love, to press on to the end, to reach forward for the prize of knowing Christ.

The Church does not need to prove God exists, but she gets to pour out God’s love because “He abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:12)

The Church needs to be exhorted with the message:

“ . . . that [we] have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another . . . By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:11, 16-18)

The Church should be the first to show up with love in our hearts, truth on our lips, and arms full of compassion, reaching out with kindness in one hand and care in the other for both the body and the soul.



Let us run onward with perseverance. Let us endure like the witnesses who have gone before us full of faith, and with fierce determination, but driven forward because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts.

We have a race to run. Let us cross the finish line strong with our eyes fixed on Jesus and our hearts full of adoration for Him.

God Guides the Best Pathway For Your Life {One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak for #HeartMonth}

{To read Part 1, the beginning of the series:

"A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart Was Weak"

click here first.}

The walls seemed to close in more and more. The oxygen line plugged into the wall that I was attached to became more like a leash than an aid to breathing. I was so eager to go home that the head nurse would tease me that she was keeping a close eye on me that I didn't attempt to sneak home on one of my walks out of the CVICU.

It was all by God's mercy and grace that I did leave those walls and the hospital. It was also terribly overwhelming.

So much healing had now taken place, but there was an enormous amount of healing that was still necessary. Some of which I had never even anticipated.

We were thrilled that I was being transferred to another care centre that would facilitate my needs in order to get me home safely. We had no idea how difficult that transition would be—both emotionally and psychologically.

The few days before I was transferred nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, pharmacists—the people we had connected with for the past 80 days—came to say good-bye and send us on our way. We had so much to rejoice in and we proclaimed God's faithfulness in it all. We had been forever changed in this journey and not the least with me having a better functioning heart.

We continued to more forward filled with much gratitude and trusting that God was leading us and with us every step of the way.

Set up in our new location in the city, Jon sent an update on November 19:

I have actually surfed before, but only on the web. I have 'Googled' things that I have wanted to know or learn more about. I've entered coordinates and destinations to allow remote satellites to trace a route or draw a path to a destination. We have neat tools, in this age of 'instant', to know, be informed, and map our way. But these tools can't accurately gauge our purpose for living, or map our life, guide our future, or determine our destiny.

Psalm 32:8- The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." 

Another translation says that He will instruct and teach us the best way to go . . . His eye is always upon us. I take comfort in this reality that I never stray from the gaze of my Maker.

We got word coming into this past weekend that there was an opening at the West Park Healthcare rehabilitation facility for Rebekah to be transferred. This came quicker than we originally anticipated because there is a waiting list and many hospitals send people there—but a big push and faster priority is given to transferring patients from intensive care units. I wondered if there was a bigger reason we were meant to spend 80 days in ICU and not move to the general recovery unit earlier. There are certainly policies and safety precautions but when I apply Psalm 32:8 in a situation like this, the picture becomes clearer.

On Monday we were patient transferred from Toronto General Hospital, out of the heart of the city, and we are now at West Park Healthcare Centre. Our purpose here is for us to receive training and to set Rebekah up with her home sleeping Bi-PAP equipment. She has had more blood work follow up here, wound care, her PICC line was removed today, a walk test to check oxygen levels, chest X-ray and ECG.

It's still a fight to keep fluids out of her lung, and as we set our sights to going home soon, we need to make sure that can be done safely and everything including home oxygen and her medication cocktail is in place to transition and continue recovery from home. Rebekah will continue as an out patient from West Park once she leaves, for ongoing monitoring and periodic sleep checkups down here for the months to come in order to adjust her equipment settings. 

For a while, the majority of her limited outings will be for medical purposes as its crucial she doesn't get a bad chest cold, congested, or come down with pneumonia again. Please continue to pray for her in this and also that her breathing, diaphragm and INR stabilize and be functional moving forward.

Rebekah's body has adapted to so much over 38 years of life. A lot of it baffles the doctors that care for her. Sometimes her numbers don't seem to make sense as medically she is somewhat a mystery. She sits up and smiles, and challenges others with her faith and courage even with blood gas numbers sometimes in a range that would put me flat on the floor. One doctor recently at TGH who did an oxygen saturation test with supplied oxygen support removed for over half an hour, said she shouldn't be even communicating in that range she was showing—and with the print out numbers she should be turning blue—even though the monitors were showing low, but still a safe range for her.

Again, we have to look beyond the numbers, beyond the medicine and testing, beyond the knowledge and techniques, assumptions and results, all the way to Psalm 32:8 and rest with full assurance.

Again, The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." 

-Jon

{I was discharged home and we were all overjoyed to be united again as a family on November 21, 2014 to continue to recover from my open-heart surgery on August 29, 2014.}

~.~.~.~.~.

This is the final part of the series:

One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak

{for #HeartMonth.}

You can read Part 1, the beginning of the series here.


Thank you to the faithful readers who encouraged us along this part of our pathway.

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Giving Thanks {One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak for #HeartMonth.}

{To read Part 1, the beginning of the series:

"A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart Was Weak"

click here first.}

We were faced with many discouraging and difficult days. There was pain and frustration and pressing on required a strength I did not have in and of myself. God was teaching us to continue to trust in who He is.

It is a painful process to be humbled. We can fight against it with hardened hearts or we can surrender  to the tender work the Holy Spirit of God desires to do in our hearts.

On October 9th, Jon shared his thoughts with the many who where praying to the God who sees, and hears, and remembers and knows:

One recent devotional reading reminded me again to "Learn to wait on God." 

It's not naturally what we want to do as people who usually look to action to bring results. It's an important lesson to realize that with God - waiting brings results. God wants us to wait on Him for His timing. ("Wait" and "Time"- words we've heard a lot this past month). This nurtures many godly disciplines in us that is part of our growth in this journey.

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. "

Psalm 62:5 

The word Rebekah uses to describe the last couple of days is "lousy".

After a week of positive trending and better sleep, aiding added energy and drive to move about and push forward, the smaller perspective dips again into the frustrating realm with a new catheter and saline flush to control a persistent bleed that has come and gone through our whole stay here. Measures are being taken to source this and stop it. A cystoscopy has been ordered for Friday to determine the source. Potential of blood thinners as a result or irritation of some kind. A somewhat minor set back to doctors here who see this from time to time but it hinders us at our level.

The ventilator weaning continues into the night hours now and is a combination of a psychological and physical battle to overcome this need of dependence for support. The doctors feel Rebekah will overcome. Again—time and patience here. 

Dr. David and I chatted again this morning and he is encouraged by the latest lung X-ray that looks the clearest yet. He sees all these other things as more minor nuisances that will pass and be dealt with. He always knew [that only having one functioning] lung would be the main issue moving forward. Staff is monitoring her volume levels at night with shallower breathing. They don't want to see blood gasses rising to high again. We don't want to go down that road again. That was rough! 

Rebekah's INR levels for blood thinning are finally in therapeutic range. Smaller changes now each day to fine tune this for constancy.

We have been in talks and initial process of looking into a transfer to Toronto East General Hospital which has a more detailed and very successful, focused vent weaning program for patients like Rebekah. This is not happening for sure, but discussion has it as a possibility at this point. It is set up as more of a rehabilitation program for longer term patients.

So we head into Thanksgiving weekend here being sustained by the goodness of God. Although greatly missing the walks through the fall leaves, and travelling to family gatherings, for laughter and incredible meals and time together, we do ponder the many bountiful blessings in our lives that cause our hearts to truly GIVE THANKS!! 

-Jon

~.~.~.~.~.

This is part 15 of the series:

One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak

{for #HeartMonth.}

You can read Part 1, the beginning of the series here.

Read Part 16 here.

To receive these updates in an email subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice. 

Living Out Vows in the Valley of Sickness and Over a Lifetime {One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak #HeartMonth.}

{To read Part 1, the beginning of the series:

"A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart Was Weak"

click here first.}

I wept over the smallest thing holed up in my ICU room in the hospital.

I tried to slip my wedding rings on my swollen finger for our anniversary and they still didn't fit. The swelling in my hands and feet from my heart working hard to heal made it impossible for me to wear the golden band that Jon placed on my finger fifteen years prior. It was not a major dilemma, but it was devastating for me at the time.

I pulled out a fresh journal my sister-in-law had sent me and began to pour out my broken heart on crisp, white paper like the steady, silent stream of salty tears.

In writing—in the releasing, in the exposing, in the surrendering—there is a quiet balm to the soul.

Without a voice, my silent weeping merged with my quiet introspection into words that trickled down like quiet waters—a resting place for my restless thoughts:

"Fifteen years ago we were at our wedding rehearsal, practicing walking down the aisle in the church, getting all the proper positions for the wedding party, finishing up all the last minute details of our "perfect wedding". We were so excited to be starting life together, looking forward to having a family, serving the Lord together as a married couple, growing old together. 

"Honeymoon plans were all set; we were ready to set sail to Bermuda after our wedding day. 

"We had such a young, innocent love. Naive. But completely determined. I was going to completely entrust my self to my new young husband. I was eager, nervous, still much too selfish, self-conscious, stubborn, self-absorbed, but in love and ready to grow in love together. 

"Tonight, the eve of our fifteenth anniversary we sit together in cardiovascular ICU. Jon has been my steady support. The way he has demonstrated his love and commitment has been truly amazing. As the patient, I've depended on him. But, as the caregiver and one watching his wife suffer, I can't imagine the lonely road he has been walking for almost 5 weeks. 

"I give thanks for him, my love."

The next day, our fifteenth anniversary, the words were as scarce as water in a parched land, but not without a glimmer of hope:

"We've sat side by side, walked hand in hand today in CVICU today on our 15th anniversary. How we would love to go out on a date for a celebration. 

But, this year we celebrate by living out our vows in sickness. Nothing fancy."

Nothing fancy. No elaborate get-away, no sunsets on the beach, no breath-taking views or buffets overladen with gourmet food, no fun excursions, no privacy, no suites with hot-tubs. But, we celebrated by living out our vows and giving thanks to God even for this circumstance.

That's where love grows.

In the soil of the day-to-day. In the sowing, the giving, the watering, the growing, the learning, the laughing, the forgiving, the yielding, the living out of vows every day—even in sickness, in the hard, disappointing, trivial, troublesome, bone-weary, heart-breaking, growing old together, till death separates and in everything giving thanks to God.

It's an unending commitment like the unending bands of gold that may or may not fit our fingers.

So many toss it away when it doesn't seem to fit anymore or it's not new or exciting or dazzling, but it's a messy and gruesome tearing apart that breaks hearts and lives and families and grieves the very heart of God who purposed that we give ourselves in submission and love just as His Son gave Himself for His Bride.

It is the grace of God that holds two together as each one commits themselves first to God and then one to another. Without his mercy, grace, and holy love we are lost and floundering and helpless to live out this love with one another. How else could two selfish, self-absorbed sinners grow in love?





Jon faithfully sat by my side, winked at me from across the room and reflected on the years and vows we had lived and together we gave thanks. I was blessed and encouraged as he shared his musings on October 2nd:

A decade and a half ago life was bringing significant change for me. One stage of life was coming to an end and a new stage was beginning.

Fifteen years ago today at 2:00 pm I stood and watched the back doors open and Rebekah walked the long centre aisle to the front to begin a new life journey with me. With no baggage or past regrets we went forward together, looking ahead to the new chapter and whatever way the road would bend for us. We didn't know what was going to be around each corner.

I remember it being somewhat overwhelming, amid the emotion and blurred excitement of our wedding day to fully absorb and dwell on the verbal and heart commitments we were making to each other. Promises made in such a short period of time, that would be lived out over a lifetime.

It was never just a trivial thing for us. Making vows with intentions of only living through the good times, or because it's needed to make the crowd smile and nod on the special day, or to get a pronouncement from a minister, was never our focus. For us it was a big deal to stand before God and declare faithfulness, through sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. The knowledge that just as God keeps His promises, He expects us to keep ours too.

The impact of commitment resonates and solidifies us as we sit here together today on our fifteenth anniversary in the cardiovascular intensive care unit in Toronto. Waiting for INR numbers to rise to coagulate her blood properly and safely, waiting to be weaned fully from a ventilator that is assisting in strengthening a recovering lung, living with the discomforts of a tracheostomy in her throat and a feeding tube. (We do give thanks that her recent mobility, slightly better sleep habits, clarity of mind have all assisted in keeping blood co2 gasses lower and are not being monitored now. A great step forward in this process that we trust continues).

No, it's not the same as any other landmark year we've celebrated. It's not like the cruise to Bermuda, or the trip to the Algonquin couples resort, it's not the same as Niagara-on-the-Lake or the Sight and Sound Theatre in Pennsylvania. We can't vocally communicate or even go out for a nice steak dinner today.

But even though this part of our road has descended into the valley for a time, we still have the two most important things in the journey with us. We have each other, and we have the One who brought us together in the first place who still walks with us now. 

And if those blessings are not enough, God chose to enrich our lives with loving and supportive family, healthy and active children, an incredible church family, amazing close friends, a great homeschool connection, wonderful neighbours, prayer networks, supportive and encouraging people all over the world. You are all amazing. We are truly blessed!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 

Even though there are a thousand more exciting and romantic places I would rather take my wife away to on this day—we will give thanks today, for God keeping us right in the centre of His will. 

-Jon

~.~.~.~.~.

This is part 14 of the series:

One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak

{for #HeartMonth.}

You can read Part 1, the beginning of the series here.

Read Part 15 here.

To receive these updates in an email subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice. 

Falling Backwards in Recovery {One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak for #HeartMonth}

{To read Part 1, the beginning of the series:

"A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart Was Weak"

click here first.}

The hours after being transferred to general recovery were terrifying. We were hopeful in the small step forward, but found ourselves falling and flailing in declining health and navigating this valley along with a medical team that held opposing views.

I pressed the call button repeatedly throughout the night, but the nursing staff figured I was a patient that needed to sleep as well as learn how to move forward more independently. However, I ultimately declined to a point where I could no longer call for help and my family stepped in and sought the medical attention I required. Doctors were called from the ICU and ordered that I be returned to CVICU as I was gradually slipping away in a silent death.

Late September 9th, Jon wearily tapped these words:

I apologize for chirping all your mobile devices this late at night but I want to get this out to you.

I have now retreated from a very long 33 hour day at the hospital. I have to sleep.

I have to keep reminding myself that the road to recovery is not always a fast straight trajectory upward but a slow journey with its own hills and valleys, good days and rougher days.

We were moved out of the ICU yesterday around 3:00pm and brought up to general recovery. As of 9:00pm this Tuesday evening we have moved back to the CVICU. I'm finding this a hard transition as it feels we are going backwards right now, but for Rebekah's good care and nursing attention and needs this is the best move. 

Don't panic—just pray! 

With little movement today and not much food, her blood gasses have increased somewhat and they are watching her blood counts for possible infections. Her lung is clear they say and they will compare the x-rays from today as well. 

Our prayers have not failed—nor have they fallen on deaf ears—we will get through this. God is pleased with prayerful persistence from His warriors.

Rebekah is exhausted. Sleeping in the hospital at the best of times is tough but she has not had a natural full night's sleep yet here in a week and a half. This is affecting her appetite and they are trying to get her fully working on a solid food diet again. This affects energy level so she barely had her eyes open today and had no strength to begin serious physio program or attend any home care classes here yet. By the end of the day she could not even lift a spoon or suck water through a straw.

This part is somewhat of a vicious cycle we're in right now. We're told it will get better in time here. She is much better monitored in the ICU. 

Patience is the word for today. 

I'm learning to celebrate baby steps in this process and give it time. It's hard to watch what some days seems more like regression than progression. With more confusion and delirium this morning Rebekah needs prayer for physical strength, solid sleep and to gain her appetite back to nourish her body, that her blood counts are good and system gasses reduce.

Thanks for your support and prayer and all that everyone is doing that gives us full confidence that God is in control and is still at work, even when we get discouraged and temporarily beaten down. 

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not driven to despair; 

persecuted, but not forsaken; 

struck down, but not destroyed." 

{2 Corinthians 4:8-9}

" . . . But joy comes in the morning!" 

{Psalm 30:5b}

—love that promise 

Jon

~.~.~.~.~.

This is part 7 of the series:

One Thing Our Marriages Desperately Need Today ~~ A Husband's Heartfelt Words as His Wife's Heart was Weak

{for #HeartMonth.}

You can read Part 1, the beginning of the series here.

Read Part 8 here.

To receive these updates in an email subscribe to A Soft Gentle Voice.

Sowing Tears ~ Reaping Joy

One year ago today I came home after three months in intensive care following once-in-lifetime open-heart surgery.

God has showered his mercy upon us and brought us all home. 

His praise is on our lips.

We dream,

laughter fills our mouths,

shouts of joy are on our tongues,

we proclaim the great things God has done. 

We can look back on times of lament and recall how God pours out His mercy, and know that His mercy and steadfast love will follow us all the days of our lives. 

Lament is a song in our soul—

played in the hauntingly beautiful minor key;

the part in which we weep. 

Followed by the shouts of joy;

the dance when we rise up with praise and thanksgiving to the Lord.

The music of mercy and grace, tears and joy never ends;

keeping the rhythm of life steady, bringing us home. 

This day we pause,

sing a lament,

and praise the Lord:

we have sown in tears,

we shall reap shouts of joy.