Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake: Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake, a fire: Jehovah was not in the fire. And after the fire, a soft gentle voice. (1Kings 19:11-12)

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Importance of Building a Bench ~ Simply Tuesday

"When I want to climb the ladder, what if instead I tore the ladder apart and used the wood to build a bench." (Emily P Freeman, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World)
I've had a lot of practice of small and lonely this past year. A lot of slowing down. I've had a lot of days that feel like Tuesdays. That day that you have to just keep on going, moving forward, when you are not even halfway through the week and you could race on toward the end of the week or actually slow down and appreciate or at least take notice of the small moments that are making up your life.

Cause you are actually alive, waking up each morning and breathing. Do you jump out of bed and head out into the hustle without even realizing you are still here? Living, breathing, moving?

Do you ever consider that every breath you get to take make up your moments? And the harsh reality is that those small moments may be small, but they may also be hard. They may be ordinary, but they may be frustrating and threaten to paralyze you with fear.

I've laboured to breath, and I've struggled to appreciate the small, hard moments.



We are to pour out our lives, and "by the mercies of God, to present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is [our] spiritual worship." It's the surrender of our lives to our Lord, our adoration of Him with all of our heart, strength, mind, and soul that is our worship.

Some say the story I've been living is an amazing story. And really, because of God's grace, it is. But, I have to admit, when I get lost in the loneliness, and caught in the strongholds of this fast-moving world, well, to me, it's just my life. And I want to scream, "Hello, this is my life we're talking about." My small, ordinary non-flashy moments that are being strung together to make my life. Not some fictional character in a great story to keep you turning the pages to see what will happen to her in the end."  I confess, there are times, when I've thought an entirely different plot line would suit me much better.


"…people don't need fancy and flashy, they probably just want regular. They don't need a fixer, they need a journeyer. They just need to sit on a bench with someone else so they know they are not alone." (Emily P Freeman, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World)
I've been learning to accept what God has called me to, for His glory.

I've been learning that there are worse things than dying—not really living or staying alive with no real impact and failing to live the abundant life Christ offers.

I'm a slow-learner when it comes to things pertaining to the soul—the things unseen. How often my pride and self-love get in the way and make me stumble. But God, in His mercy and grace, He reveals my sin and humbles me, brings me down and causes me to surrender to His holy love. He helps me to tear down the ladders and build benches so there is more compassion and less comparison even when I am tempted to build high, impenetrable walls.

One of the ways He has been teaching me is by allowing others to journey with me.

As an introvert, and a back-yard dweller—where there is privacy and protection, I've been learning how much I need to come to the front yard—where there is vulnerability and openness, and embrace community. To build a bench, to share our stories, our struggles, our simple moments that make up our lives.



And what I'm finding is a love for others like I have never had before.

When we take these small moments, share our simple and sit down on the inside and make room for our souls to breath our eyes are opened and we see the bigger picture.

May we never focus on the small. Our eyes need to be fixed on Jesus—the Author and Finisher of our faith. "In Him, we live and move and have our being." The One who came to dwell among us, took on flesh, humility, and became sin that we might become the righteousness of Christ that we might forever dwell with Him.
"When confronted with heartbreak, fear, questions, longing, frustrations, and grief, this new life means instead of running to build our cities of protection, we can set out on a different road. This road may include loneliness, obscurity, hiddenness, and silence. It may be narrow, lined with danger, and filled with darkness at times. But we have a light that will not go out and cannot be turned off. The light of Christ burns bright within us, and wherever we go we will not go alone." (Emily P Freeman, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World)


{Emily P. Freeman's newest book, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World releases today in the U.S. She has given me much to think about in the words she shares. I was taken with this idea early in the morning on the first Tuesday on this year while my life was like a string of Tuesdays and Emily introduced #itssimplytuesday on Instagram. It's a rather lovely place to sit and share snippets of our lives.}

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

12 Roses for 12 Months


A rose for every month to celebrate this anniversary — a year today since my open-heart surgery was booked.

God's mercy, grace, goodness and faithfulness can startle you with such breathtaking beauty. 





So much has happened in this year. I haven't been able to process it all. Maybe, I never will. But, slowly, pieces unfold again and I see a little less fuzzy when I open my eyes to God's mercies that are new every morning. In moments that are like when you flip through old snapshots that give you an idea of the big picture. I get another quick glance back when I am standing in my brown birks with my arms full of a white flower box and I open it up and it's filled with roses of many colours and I'm speechless.

Until these roses arrived in my driveway I had not even recognized the significance of this day. Then I remembered that a year ago today, I sat looking out on Crystal Lake not sure how to take the next step forward after the conversation I had just had with the heart surgeon's secretary. She made it so matter of fact, so simple; a square on the calendar at the end of the month. That square was the only hope I had for having any more than 365 of those squares.

And as my loving family who sent me these roses reminded me, it is: "a year since you started preparing to say good-bye to your family, a year of upheaval and change, a year of miracles and blessings, a year of suffering and pain, a year of prayers and petitions, a year full of physical and spiritual family buoying you mentally, emotionally, physically, a year of devastating lows and euphoric highs…a long year full of God's goodness and grace…"

Tonight, I look at these roses and I'm reminded how God makes all things beautiful in His time.

His mercy is new every morning.

Twelve roses for twelve months of God's abundant blessing poured out so full that my life is brimful of God's goodness. 

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