Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake: Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake, a fire: Jehovah was not in the fire. And after the fire, a soft gentle voice. (1Kings 19:11-12)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Being Transformed {Day 30}

We go out to study milkweed and we bring home our science lesson.



But, for me, there is an entirely different lesson as I watch this monarch caterpillar:

For days I have feasted on lies. Gorged myself. She devours leaf after leaf until she is fattened up. I have devoured the lies that will keep me imprisoned in my own skin.


I just want to be normal. I think I can try to hide away, but I am in a glass jar, exposed, with no escape.

At times, I think I can be brave, I molt, to shed skin because the old skin will not allow me to grow.

But, then, I feast on more of what I know.

You are not normal. Just try. Try to be good . . . try to be smart . . . set a good example . . . look like you have it all together . . . try to look pretty . . . maybe no one will notice.

And then I remember the glass. It must be so obvious to anyone really looking. These are the lies I have lived on.

It is reality too. But, I don’t want to be a specimen on display.

I wish that I could just be like everyone else. I crawl up behind a leaf and try to hide. It feels safer there. I molt more. Shed more skin, the lies.


Yet, I feast again. Then molt. Feast. Shed.

I’m tired

I rest.

Maybe there is a way out.

I set up the glass jar, clean out the old leaves, wash away the excrement.


Do I keep on believing that there is such a thing as normal? That I am definitely not it? If I was just like everyone else I could hold me head up high and not be ashamed of who I am.

And there comes a time when I realize
I need to accept reality and stop feasting on the lies.

God is doing a work within. Will I dare believe that beauty will emerge? That life transformation ~ metamorphosis ~can be beautiful?


Can I be so beautiful on the inside that beauty will emerge?

Isn’t that what I need to cling to? Like the caterpillar that spins the tiniest little web ~ a silk thread to hold on to ~ a hope that will make me bold. That He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.


This is how the beauty will emerge. 

Knowing that God pours out His Spirit to change my heart ~ to change the inside.

Believing that He holds me and will not let me go.


Why want ‘normal’ when I can be transformed into something new, something glorious.

That I can actually behold His glory and see that He is doing a glorious transformation in my life for His glory.

This is freedom! That I may soar on wings where the Spirit of the Lord is.

I eagerly wait for the butterfly to emerge.

The transformation will take place. One day the wings will eclose. 

The one that used to crawl along will soar, declaring the beauty of its Creatordoing exactly what it has been created to do.





31 Days
This is part of a series, linking up with Nester, for the month of October.

You will find the rest of the series, Write to Discover Yourself: My Story His Glory, here

It is a series of posts of sharing what I am learning in Ruth Vaughn’s book, 'Write to Discover Yourself'.


  1. It is hard to not feel normal, but when I look around at what is normal, there's not much of that I want to be. I struggle with this-blend in, or be what is in my heart. Prayers for you today. Give yourself grace for the journey.

  2. It is true, Anna, there is not much of 'normal' that is even worth thinking about.
    Thank you for your kind comments.


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