When the Knife of the Heavenly Surgeon Cuts Deep

To listen to the audio,

find the podcast here at HopeStreamRadio.

There is a brown box stuffed on my bookshelf in the basement that holds squares of paper with words of hope inscribed on them. Three years ago this month, one blistering Sunday afternoon, friends and family gathered together to remember the hope we have in Jesus Christ and to cry out to God for the will of the Lord to be accomplished in my heart.

We prayed that we would decrease and that He would increase. We prayed for God’s glory to be revealed in my body in whatever he had purposed for me.

This box was neatly tied up with a pretty white bow and given to me that day. Four days later, the day before my surgeon cut into my heart, I sat on the edge of a hospital bed and loosened the bow. In the box was a collection of verses that had been lovingly hand-written on blue and white cardstock for me. They were balm for my soul.

They were words of truth that I had to unpack. They spoke of the hope that does not disappoint. I clung to hope like the anchor it is when the storm is raging and the night is dark. 

On one card these words, spoken by David after he was rescued from the hand of Saul, and recorded for us in Psalm 18, were scrawled:

“The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”

In times of distress, upheaval, turmoil, pain and suffering the Psalmist knew where to go. David knew His God was His refuge and His redeemer.



Even as torrents of destruction charged at him and cords of death confronted him, he knew to whom he could run. David called upon the Lord. He cried out to God for help. And without a doubt he knew his cry had reached the ears of the Lord.

David knew he could trust in God because He knew something of the majesty, the holiness, the justice, the mercy, the loving-kindness, the faithfulness, and the immutability of God.

And in seeing who God is, he gained a right perspective on his situation and on his own self.

On another card in my box, someone else had gracefully copied four more verses from the same Psalm:

“For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?”

David, the Psalmist, again reminded himself of what he knew to be true about God and acted upon it. He held on to the faithfulness of God. He fixed his focus on the God who is faithful to do exactly as He has promised.

When times are turbulent and trials rise up, look to God and His attributes.

Three years ago, as I laid myself down on the operating table the cords of death confronted me. As I woke up from open-heart surgery, torrents of distress assaulted me. My heart had been broken. But, God was near.

Charles Spurgeon wrote:

“The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of him who numbers the hairs of our head . . . The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary.”

Three years ago, I walked through the valley and narrowly escaped death. I walked through upheaval and God set it right. I walked in weakness and God gave strength. I walked through confusion and God brought comfort. I walked through loneliness and God was near. I walked through depression and God heard my cry. I walked through fear and God was with me.

“The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary.”

 

This summer, I rode up the side of a mountain in a gondola and climbed up to its peak. I sat there on the mountain, with an elevation of nearly 8000 feet, and was immensely aware of my smallness and in awe of the majesty of God.

At that point I could say with David,

“He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights.”

God had brought me from a low, low point and had raised me up to see more of His glory.



I knew that day that you can't stay on top of the mountain, but the overwhelming grandeur of God's power and majesty leaves you wanting more. More of God, more of His beauty and mercy and grace.

We came down the mountain singing “Amazing Grace” . . . “I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.”

God's grace leads us up the mountain and back down into the valley where we look up and remember where our strength comes from.

It is the joy of the Lord that is our strength. It is the soul that sings with David at the beginning of this Psalm, “I love you, O Lord, my strength” that will also say, “ . . . I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations, and sing to your name.”

Yes, there will be valleys to walk through. There will be trials to face and floods of wickedness will surround us. But, God’s glory shines bright in our dark days. 

There is life to be lived, lessons to be learned, strength to be gained, grace to be received, and glory to be revealed.

And, we will go on our way rejoicing in Him and His goodness for all of our days because He is our Redeemer, our Strength, our Rock and our Shield.

This truth can’t just be boxed in with pretty white bows. It has to be unpacked. It has to be lived out.

When you realize the truth about God and take refuge in Him, when He is your quiet resting place, when you hold on to the faithfulness of God, when you take what you know about God and apply what you know, then your faith is strengthened and God is glorified.

The Tragedy When Children Fail to Grow into Maturity

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join us at HopeStreamRadio here.

A lovely dove moans outside my window. I hear the whirr of happy children as they race home from the park on bicycles. A trail of voices drift in as neighbors catch up on life.

I look through the window panes speckled with dried-water spots and the brightness of the sun shines down on the white cast iron bench and reflects a blinding glare that stings my eyes. My eyes flit over to the shadow lying on the grass beside the overgrown pine bush.

The sounds I heard a moment ago have faded. The dove is silent and sparrows chirp to each other now. A gentle breeze slips in my open window and I feel it cool on my bare arms. A white puffy cloud sailed across the blue skies, swallowed the sun, chased the shadows away and dimmed the glare. The children have now clambered around the kitchen table and childish chatter fills the room as they gulp cold water and wait for grilled cheese.

It’s the dog days of summer, when days are savoured, not spent. When children hunt for toads and stare at insects and when times of boredom make way for creativity and inspiration. When we can linger longer in the afternoon shade or under bright stars blinking in the inky blackness.

We watched a cicada crawl across the grass after it burst out of its old shell last week. Sadness hung in the air as we witnessed the struggle it endured to unfurl its wings and when the wings failed to stretch open we knew there was no way it could live without those wings taking flight.

“Mom?”, my girl queried, “can I take this old skin and put it on the nature table?” And she ran in and cupped it like it was costly treasure, with great care, she set it with other little marvels we have found in this great world God has made: shells, fossils, bark, big-leaf maple leaves and fungi, nests, and feathers.

As children, the world is full of wonder to be discovered. When the time and opportunity is given, children will explore the wonders all around them. They will grow in knowledge and in appreciation of the living things that are in their own backyard.

Children have a natural curiosity about their world. They want to dig, search, discover, climb, reach for the next level, and soar. Children want to grow and learn. They want to know they are loved and love in return. Spread before them a banqueting table and they will come and joyously feast.





Jesus’ disciples asked him:

“Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

And Jesus called and put a child in the centre of them. He turned their focus to a child. It was humility to which he drew their attention. To be a follower of Christ is to humble self and trust Christ. A child is willing to come and trust.

However, as Don Carson explains in volume two of For the Love of God:

“ . . . childlikeness is not childishness; simplicity is not simple-mindedness; humility is not servility.”

If the child failed to grow, like the cicada that couldn’t unfurl his wings and fly away, it would be a tragedy, a travesty. When we are given faith to believe, that is simply the beginning. Our faith is to grow and be strengthened.

Yes, we are to come to Christ as children, but we are to grow up into maturity in grace, knowledge, faith, love, hope.





Paul warned in his letter he wrote to the Christians in Ephesus:

“ . . . that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ . . . ”

And the writer of Hebrews exhorted his readers:

“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.”

And later in his letter, the writer urged:

“Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity . . . ”

These are the days we must dig deeper, look longingly, search diligently, rightly handling the Word of God.



Come child-like in humility and in wonder and grow up into maturity by growing in knowledge of God who is Creator and Lord of all.

We have a great feast to spread before us. We know we don’t live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

Read His word. Meditate on His Word. Memorize it, chew it, savour it. Study it. Dig deeper and move on from elementary doctrine.



You will grow in love and in faith as you grow in knowledge of the Lord God. Let His Word be a lamp to guide your feet and light to your path in the midst of a dark world.

As it has been said, “Your heart can’t love what your mind doesn’t know.”

Know God. Come in humility, grow in grace. And your heart will want more of God and all His shining glory.

When Troubles Weigh You Down, Look Up Unto the Stars

We are almost three weeks into the new year and there have definitely been some hard knocks for many people already. Devastating diagnoses, death, divorce proceedings, distress, grief, sickness, debt, loved ones slowly fading away or homeless and lost in shelters and mental illness or out at sea.

These troubles are more than enough to weigh any soul down.

Oh, there have been exciting things, too, like babies born and birthday celebrations, healing taking place in bodies, hearts and souls.

We are a forgetful people though and when the days are long and the nights are dark and the bad news tips the scales, just as we need air to breath, we need words of comfort and assurance.

On those dark nights, look up. It won't take away the pain, but it will give you new perspective. It will help you breath when life has knocked the wind out of you.

Lift up your eyes unto the stars. Your troubles will grow smaller and you will behold the greatness of God. In God, you will be comforted.

We get to the end of a cold day in January; the saddest day of the year, some say. 

The schoolwork has been spread open all day, the books that were used are still scattered, dinner was prepared while the kids squealed and sledded down the little hill to the side of the house, and the rosy-cheeked and famished kids came in and devoured their steaming lasagna and then scrubbed all the dishes clean.

After the noise, the laughter and the fresh-out-of-the-oven snicker doodles with mint tea, and Bible reading, we settle down in the silence of the evening. Long after the sun has sunk in the Western horizon and the bright stars have been strung once again on the black canvas of the night, the boy and I, we read another chapter out loud from a biography of Nathanial Bowditch: the self-taught, brilliant American scientist and mathematician born in 1773.

We are almost half way through the book, and Josiah tells me he loves the book, but there has been too much dying and he's not sure it can be a favourite book of his with so much death—Nat has already lost five people in his young life. It's not a feel good novel, but a lot of life doesn't feel good.

"Sometimes if you look at the stars long enough, they sort of shrink your troubles down to size." Nat Bowditch thoughtfully advised in "Carry On Mr. Bowditch" by Jean Lee Latham.

Mikko Lagerstedt


I pause.

Did you hear that? I read it again. There is something there that we all need know. 

"Sometimes if you look at the stars long enough, they sort of shrink your troubles down to size." 

Nat knows all about death, disfunction, and shattered dreams, but he presses on and "sails by ash breeze". He teaches himself math, science, astronomy, Latin, French, and navigation while he's been indentured for 9 years and is prisoner in his apprenticeship.

We are all dealing with shattered dreams, broken pieces of our lives, challenging circumstances, and demanding people.



Sometimes, if you look away from your day-by-day troubles and look up to the stars that God hung in place, it sort of shrinks them down.

There, in the darkest night shine the brightest lights.

Mikko Lagerstedt

"Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these [stars]? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing."

These words are words of comfort and assurance to the people of God that would be taken captive by their enemy, but God would never abandon them even when they were deeply afflicted. He brings good news to a people who just received devastating news and He promises through His prophet Isaiah to send a Deliverer—the Son of God would come and redeem His people and call them to Himself.

You cannot know all of His ways, His understanding is unsearchable, just as you can't see all the stars in the sky. But He brings each star out, every one that He has named and in His greatness He will do exactly the same for His people—He will call them by name and will renew the strength for everyone who waits on the Lord.

Look up to the sky tonight. See the greatness of God, trust in His Word; for the starry heavens you gaze up to will pass away, but the words of God will never pass away.

A Light unto My Path

When you are not sure how to move forward, walk in the Light.

The Light leads to life.

Eighteen months ago, when trilliums carpeted forest floors, the heart doctor told me to stop taking hikes in the woods; my heart couldn't take the strenuous activity. It was hard news to digest. He really wasn't sure any surgeon could do what my heart needed.

By the time the trilliums had faded and children were jumping into lakes or running through splash pads, my cardiologist had put me in touch with Dr David. He was willing to take me on—if tests proved my body may have a fighting chance. It was highly unlikely.

Weeks after we went through with the surgery, when the leaves had changed from green to gold and red, Dr David was making his daily rounds. He admitted, when he had me open on the operating table what he found proved that the tests did not reveal the true condition of my heart. If they had, he would not have been able to confidently proceed with surgery because of how grave my situation really was.

The Light was guiding my path all along.

For four months I was attached to oxygen and during those months I grieved that I was not able to hike in the woods.

When I arrived home after 80 days in ICU, I had strength enough to climb four stairs, one slow step after the other. The winter was so frigid, my oxygen line would freeze, but I had set a goal to get out into the great outdoors for I truly believed it would help my physical and emotional recovery. 

Putting one foot in front of the other is all you have to do to move forward. There are dips and set-back that feel like giants leap backward, but one step at a time is how you run in this race of life. 

Always looking unto Jesus; the Everlasting Light

Last week, the cardiologist said my heart should be able to handle small hikes once again. Slow and steady. One small step at a time. 

Who could have ever imagined all those many moons ago that I would take my first nature hike with my family on a first week of November—so warm that it may break records? The sun kissed our faces today and we breathed in the musty fallen leaves that now carpet the ground.

We looked high into the bare branches and low at the moss covering the rocks. We listened as the brook babbled. We slowed down and focused on the beauty all around us. We gratefully received the sheer grace of it all.

I came home weary and refreshed. Hushed. Exhilerated. Humbled.

God's mercy is ever new. His faithfulness never fails.

The Little One gives thanks at the dinner table today. She thanks God for the hike, for her family, all the things He has made—the flowers, the birds, all creation. And all these months have passed and she still mutters thanks for: "the Doctor who helped my beautiful Mom so she could take care of me. She loves me so much. Thank you for being with her in the hospital to save her life."

I whisper, Amen, humbled once again.

Ever thankful to God that He leads me beside still, refreshing waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

He is with me. He comforts even when I walk in the valley of the shadow of death.

His goodness and mercy, His steadfast love follows me all the days of my life.

His Light leads me on. One step of faith at a time.

{Photography helps me stop and focus on the beauty surrounding me, to catch the light, pay attention. When I look at life through the lens, it stirs up the deeper, hidden parts of the bigger picture.
To be outdoors in a great wood, capturing my children running free under a canopy of trees, climbing old mills, and shaking trees to make leaves fall like rain was absolute grace that flows steady from the hand of God.}

Declare His Glory ~ Words of Life Wednesday ~ A Link-up

{Join us below for Words of Life Wednesdays with a link-up of your post.

We'd love to hear how God's Word has been nourishing you.}

{Also linking with Coffee For Your Heart}

"Sing to the LORD, bless his name;

tell of his salvation from day to day.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvellous works among all the peoples!

For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;

he is to be feared above all gods.

For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,

but the LORD made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before him;

strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples,

ascribe to the LORD glory and strength!

Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;

bring an offering, and come into his courts!

Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness;

tremble before him, all the earth!

Say among the nations, “The LORD reigns!

Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved;

he will judge the peoples with equity.”

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;

let the sea roar, and all that fills it;

let the field exult, and everything in it!"

{Psalm 96:2-11}

May our words bring healing and hope to the hurting around us.

May the words we speak today bring honour to the Lord of heaven and earth.

And may the Lord God grant us mercy and forgive us when we are a 

"people  [that] honours me with their lips, but their heart is far from me"

Today and forevermore may our words and lives declare His glory.

An InLinkz Link-up