Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake: Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake, a fire: Jehovah was not in the fire. And after the fire, a soft gentle voice. (1Kings 19:11-12)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Intentional Motherhood: What Happens in the Waiting

I know how it is to desperately long for a child.

I know the hot sting of tears, month after month of watching the days on the calendar, of hoping that maybe this month . . .  only to see the sign that there is no child being formed in me . . . and hope fades once again.

It is hard to wait. Painful to wait for the child you long for. 

It was after two years of longing and medical tests and being diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. After many prayers and I don't even remember how many negative pregnancy tests and a very real dream one certain night that a baby boy would be born and then finally two lines appeared early one winter morning, just as spring was knocking at the door.

And call me crazy, but I picked up the phone and woke loved ones right out of their sleep to tell them of my expectant news. It's hard to keep this kind of news to yourself.

Faith grew during that time of waiting for my son to be formed.

But, I can't even imagine having to wait 25 years!

God promised Abraham a child, but he had to wait twenty-five years. 
"For twenty-five years this faith is tried and purified, till Abraham's whole soul is filled with believing expectancy, that so the child may in truth be the child of faith and prayer; a gift of God received by faith . . . 
"Parents are called to exercise Abraham's faith, and to receive their children from His hands . . . 
"God thought this waiting was necessary for the strengthening and ripening of faith. This grace is a gift of high value, and can be attained only by a close walk with God, and whole-hearted surrender to His teachings and leadings."
Waiting is always hard and didn't Sarah even laugh at the absurdity of it all. Yet, Sarah's faith was strengthened in the waiting until it was said of her, "By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised."

Sometimes it is not until we look back and see how God has worked through us in our waiting and strengthened our faith by His grace.

It wasn't until years after I gave birth to my son that I read in 30+ year old medical files that the side-effects of the chemotherapy drugs I was on as a young child would put me at very high risk of infertility. The doctors working to save my life when I was three could not promise that life would ever come from my womb.
"God will give the grace to attain what we need . . . God, who has undertaken to fill us with His Spirit, will Himself train us for the holy calling as believing parents. He will teach us how the birth of our children can become the highest exercise of a faith that gives glory to God. He will also teach us that faith is the truest means of advancing our spiritual life and the interests of His kingdom."
As we grow in our faith in the One who promises, our children will be blessed as we pray that they too will come to claim the promises of God and receive by faith, through God's gracious gift, the glorious news of the Gospel. That our children may live by faith and 'become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith.'

Six years after he was born, he slipped out of bed one night when he was supposed to be asleep and asked for a drink of water. He had just drank deep from the well of the living water and he came out to share his news. He couldn't keep it to himself; that he was looking up into the heavens and felt deep in himself that he needed to 'turn and be on the road that leads to God.' He told us, 'I prayed to God tonight, I invited him into my heart and I repented.' And he smiled with a peace written all over his face as he sipped on the small glass of water I gave him..

A child-like faith, yet profound. There was much rejoicing not only on earth that night, but also in heaven.

And early the next morning, he picked up the phone and told loved ones of his good news for he just couldn't keep it to himself.

A child born in a season of waiting, a time of growing faith, a time begging us to take hold of the promises of God and believe.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."

A Mother's Prayer
"Our blessed God and Father, we thank You for the wonderful revelation of Your will in Your servants Abraham and Sarah. Although Abraham'a child was the heir of sin, You made him the heir of the promise and its blessing. Gracious God, help us to see how, through the birth of Jesus Christ, our children have been redeemed from the power of sin. Teach us to realize that You have given abundant grace and faith to believing parents so that we may receive our children from You and for You . . . May we let our role as [mothers] bind us to You in worship and in faith. Amen."

{all quotations taken directly from 'Raising Your Child for Christ' by Andrew Murray, unless otherwise noted}

IMG_2469-sz-250There's a little book, 'Raising Your Children for Christ' by Andrew Murray, on my shelf that I keep bringing down and leafing through and, Lord willing, on Wednesdays I hope to share snippets of my gleanings from it.

I don't claim to know all the answers. I need to dig deeper so that I can be even more equipped to be the mother that God intended. I am so thankful that this task of raising our children has not been given to me alone.

Join me on this journey? It is not a list of rules and how-to's but rather a chance to look into your own life and heart and be challenged to live a life wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord

For the first post in this series on Intentional Motherhood you can find it here.

For all posts in this series you can read them here.


  1. How beautiful! How exciting!! I understand the waiting. I'm praying with a friend who is waiting now. Thanks for your special words.

  2. It took a long time for me to get pregnant the first time too. But God's timing is perfect. I remember the night my son wept for what he understood about Jesus and prayed that prayer. Thanks for churning the memories. Lovely post.

  3. This is so beautiful! We've not been able to sustain a pregnancy over the last three years - resulting in the loss of four babies and the subsequent heartache. BUT GOD! His is infinitely merciful and last spring, we adopted a baby girl. Thanks for sharing this part of your journey! I'll be back for more :)

  4. Glad I visited here today. Thank you for sharing part of your story.

  5. So tender, how he came to ask for a drink of water when he told you of this life-changing moment in his life. And you so beautifully tie it back to Scripture about Living Water. Thank you for telling your story with us. So honored to have you writing in community at #TellHisStory.

  6. Thank you so much for the Scriptures here. Had another negative test last night...we've been trying for almost a year for our second child. Anyway, really appreciate reading this and not feeling as hopeless.


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