The robin is singin' her song. I pull back the dark blue cotton sheets and slip my feet on to the cold, bare maple. As I reach out and pull back the curtains, brushing them across the floor, I breathe in the beauty of spring. The world turned green this week.The colour of new life. New life brings hope, healing, restoration, comfort.
Comfort. The very word looks cold and hard to me. Anything but comforting. Why, when I see the word, do I not feel comforted? What is it that is buried deep that hinders the warmth and strength that this word of action is meant to bring about?
In my own woundedness I am stuck. My pen is halted and stutters on the page.
I'm hardened, cold. Theoretically, I know I am loved, comforted. But, in reality, at times my heart refuses to believe. I've tasted the sweetness of new life, but choke on the bitterness of the law of sin and death.
Three times, I have brought forth new life. Nursed, nourished, comforted. With all three, I have felt inadequate. As their mother, I flounder, I fail, I flail, I falter.
As much as I love and delight in these precious ones, they do not and never could fill the God-sized hole in my heart.
It is the Comforter who gathers me into His steadfast Love. As I wake up to His love and comfort, I can then open up my arms more lovingly and comfort more fully the ones that gather here near my heart and I can pluck love straight from the One that brings all comfort.
***
I was surprised by the negative tone that flowed from the prompt and wonder if it came form the wet, grey, gloominess that contrasted against the vibrant green as I looked out the glass door decorated with little hand-prints. I hesitate even hitting publish, but trust that in my vulnerability others may reach out and up, along with me, to the only One who is our joy and comfort.
Officially, the rules are:
1. Write for 5 minutes (A number of weeks ago, I made this confession that I don't always exactly keep to the five minutes. )
2. Link up at Lisa-Jo's and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...
Mother's Day is just around the corner and for each one of us this day will bring a variety of emotions. Let us offer love to one another this weekend, gather one another into each others arms and be the hands and feet of the One who is the God of all comfort.
Dear Rebekah
ReplyDeleteI understand so well how you feel everything but loved at times. I think we all do, but this is where we need to trust ,against all our feelings and emotions, the truth of our Pappa's love. Every cloud has a silver lining and I have learned to wait patiently while the storms rage around me.
Much love fromFMF
MIA
Thank you for hitting publish! Loved reading this post!
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