Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake: Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake, a fire: Jehovah was not in the fire. And after the fire, a soft gentle voice. (1Kings 19:11-12)

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Friday, March 14, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Crowd


My mind is cluttered. My heart is restless. My body is frail. My soul years for quiet.


I push off from shore to escape.


I'm like Jonah running from grace. It's a messy world and we don't deserve it anyway. I hop on a ship and want to flee from sharing the message of grace. To taste grace I have to be willing to face the selfishness, ungratefulness, pride, square in the face. It requires a humility that I don't always want to posses.


I want the resurrection, but I'm not sure I readily take up my cross.

I want to be poor is spirit, but I'm not sure I've stopped storing up temporal treasures.
I want to mourn sin, but I'm not sure I really want to be lowered.
I want to seek after the kingdom of God, but I'm not sure I've surrendered my own.
I want to look to Jesus, but I'm not sure I can take my eyes off myself.
I want to harbour Jesus in my heart, but I 'm not sure I want to be hated.
I want to suffer for His sake, but I cower in fear.
I want this, but I can't do it on my own.

My flesh wages war and my spirit faints.

My thoughts are teeming with questions.
My faith is crawling with doubt.

The darkness tries to extinguish the light.


Oh, my faith is too small.


The crowd presses in.

I can't breath.

I need to stop running and rest.

I need to stop trying and trust.

Man overboard is the only way to go.
It's not comfortable but it's the only way to find my all in Him.

I need the steadfast love of the Father, the staggering grace of the Son, and the strengthening power of the Spirit.


I push off from shore and in the stormy waters I see how His love pursues me all the days of my life and I'll never escape His grace.






I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

(John Newton, “I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow”, 1779).



***
Linking with Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo's place. This week the prompt is: Crowd

Officially, the rules are:

Five Minute Friday1. Write for 5 minutes
2. Link up at Lisa-Jo's  and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...















3 comments:

  1. So encouraged by your post. keep the words flowing! visiting from 5 minute friday

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man does this ever hit home with me. There's so much crowding in on my life, and not enough of Christ. I'm thinking and praying over many of these same things.

    ReplyDelete

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