I thought I had about 10 days to finish getting my life in order for what was to come next. I was on my own that night, googling all kinds of information I thought for sure I would need to know when you arrived.
But, you decided to come before I had a chance to finish nesting, or pack my bags, or figure out how to be a mother.
I stayed up way too late that night. Then after an hour of sleep, I woke up and as I saw that you were not going to wait to the due date, your Daddy walked in the door from work. It was one in the morning, he was tired and was sure that I was in false labour.
I laboured alone all night with increasing intensity. At times the pain would be too much to bear alone, so I'd wake him to convince him that I was pretty sure this was it!
After nine hours I knew I had to make my way to the hospital. When the nurse admitted me, your Daddy finally believed that you were on your way!
It was a long, slow labour and I managed without any medication to dull the pain, although I screamed and screamed and made sure everyone knew that it hurt!
You were born on a Good Friday!
Here we are, a Friday, the eve of your 12th birthday.
Google never could have prepared me for your arrival into my life.
I read and read thinking that books would make it easier and that information would make it fool-proof, but I was wrong.
God used a daughter to teach a mother things you have taught me.
You. My Daughter.
That I have to bend down low, even when it hurts, even when I feel like I am doing it alone.
I have to breath.
I have to relax.
I have to pray.
When it feels like the hard parts will never end, I can keep going.
I gave birth on a Good Friday to a baby girl.
That day I was broken and I was laid low. My life changed forever.
I am continually growing into a mother. I never was ready.
But, here we are. You are taller than me and you have outgrown my shoes.
I still have much to learn and I am so thankful that you are teaching me things no one else ever could.
You. My Daughter.
There are things I will never be able to teach you, but know this that we have to bend down low just as the boughs in this ice storm.
You are out knocking down icicles, in my boots, and I am in here, thinking of how you love life and people. Your smile brightens up your face and your life brings rays of sunshine to many.
After an ice storm in the spring, we will celebrate you! You want waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. And tacos for dinner. And lots of homemade doughnuts.
The sun is to shine tomorrow and we hope to go for a hike. I'll watch you as you run through the wood and your eye catches all the beauty around you. My eye will watch the beauty that you have become and pray that as you saunter into your last year of 'childhood' that you will remember these twelve truths.
Life is hard, but you know the victory is already won.
Life will break you, but you, in Christ, are strong.
Life gets ugly, but you are always beautiful.
Life may leave you feeling empty, but you are always loved.
When you are afraid, remember you are never alone.
When you think someone else can do it better, do your best.
When you feel silly, be yourself and don't worry what others may be thinking of you.
Remember to fix your eyes on things unseen.
Remember to never stop praying, always choose joy, and in everything give thanks.
Remember to love the Lord your God will all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.
Linking in with the gang writing at Five Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo's place. I didn't at all keep the first rule this time. Once I started, I kept on going, so thankful for the gift of my daughter and the privilege I have to be her mother. Words are never enough!
This week the prompt is: Here
Officially, the rules are:
2. Link up at Lisa-Jo's and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...